It's no secret that Dad is a pretty funny kid. One of my favorite things in the world is to hear Dad crack himself up so much that he cries and has to take off his glasses so he can wipe the tears away. I think it's clear that Dad is to blame for the trademark Lisonbee trait of finding yourself so amusing that you can barely get through your joke to the punchline. And Dad is also to blame for the patented Lisonbee look on one's face when said Lisonbee is quite proud of oneself. Well, thanks for those Dad. It's been said that no one finds the Lisonbees funnier than the Lisonbees do. Is it our fault that not everyone has such a refined sense of humor? I think not!
He's so funny he got Elizabeth to smile the very first time he met her, a feat he replicated several times that visit and she was a teeny baby then. As if I was surprised by that. The man is a riot. You can't not laugh with him. He thinks he's so funny, it's impossible to disagree!
One of my favorite occassions is watching Dad and Aunt Sherry together telling tales about the antics of their younger days. I remember being in Sacramento at her house staying up way too late listening to those stories they told and absolutely being in pain because I was laughing so hard.
So this year's activity to pay tribute to one of our dear young Dad's best, most endearing qualities will be to remind everyone one of either one of Dad's trademark jokes/ pranks OR to retell one of Dad's legendary stories that crack him up every time.
I'll start:
Q: What's blue and goes clang clang?
A: A blue clang clang
Q: What's green and goes clang clang?
A: A green clang clang
Q: What's red and goes clang clang?
A: A red clang clang?
Dad: (insert twinkle in eye and snickering) No! A firetruck!
Q: What's green and has wheels?
A: Grass, I lied about the wheels. (A la la la)
P.S. Extra points for the person who can recite the parrot and the pirate joke! Or the lady on the bus with the dog!
8 comments:
Where do I start?
1. Memorable moment - "Son, we've been hit!"
2. Showing our family's true white trash roots by having one son (who will remain nameless, but I'm still traumatized) power the VW by laying on the floor of the front car and pull the accelerator cable with a pair of pliers. Really? I mean REALLY???
3. We all love the story of Sharon walking past a certain neighbor's house and yelling a certain inflammatory phrase and then laughing as she ran away because she could run faster than Dad. (Maybe this is the origin of the fascination with wheels.)
4. I may or may not be able to recite the parrot and the pirate joke. Never in writing. I know better.
5. Justin, how about when we were getting the wood for the foundation of the addition. Remember asking dad why you couldn't just pour the cement and have it form a nice crisp edge. The look on dad's face was CLASSIC!
6. Church softball. Ball hit over dad's head. Dad turns and runs. He may or may not have uttered something as he started to run.
7. "Tuffy, if you were any smarter, you'd be retarded."
8. Changing brakes on the cars (particularly the back ones) always good for a good laugh.
9. Singing "nanaboat" at the top of his lungs at the top of the stairs.
You both have swiped up some of the best ones but I'll contribute a few.
How about the time we took a road trip to Utard and left at midnight. The delayed departure was most likely due to a "quick afternoon brake job" that went like most of the brake jobs I remember. Long story short, Dad was so exhausted that we only made it a couple of hours before we had to pull over at a rest stop. It was the middle of summer and so dang hot in the desert that some of the kids may or may not have left the van while the folks were asleep to go wander around and meet some interesting individuals.
Dale, "Our departure will be delayed..."
Another great one was when he sent poor Dave Larson skipping across the water during a scouting event at the lake. I don't think Dave had never been tubing before and I'm not sure Dad had ever captained the boat of a tuber before. Needless to say, to my knowledge that was Dave's one and only run.
Dad definitely hasn't lost any fire over the years. Though the details are a little fuzzy, I heard Dad was ready to kick some butt and take names after I got knocked out by a goalie's sucker punch a few years back. Thanks Pops.
Anyone remember the flat tire on the way to the July 4th Dodger game? I am confident the Dad could have changed that tire and had us back on the road in no time. Only one problem, the spare was in the garage, at home. No worries, Dad and I had it covered. We would walk to a nearby house and make a call. One other problem...we broke down in the ghetto. Though I was reluctant, Pops knocked on the door (of what appeared to be a very strung out meth addict) made the call, and got the fam to the game to enjoy a very pleasant evening at the ballpark.
Some of my favorite times with Pops are all of the Turkey Bowls and Church Softball games. I remember watching as a kid and then playing as an adult. (Though I have done nothing to deserve that designation, if Obama is a Nobel Peace Prize winner than I am an adult) Ohhhhhh, they don't like that call!
Happy Birthday Pops!
Okay, what about the time Dad was driving to scout camp at Lake Arrowhead. For those of you unfamiliar with California geography, Arrowhead is up in the mountains. You can't get there without going up lots of winding, hilly roads. Dad was driving me and Brad Gillam. Brad's mom was driving some other kids and following dad. We were coming down a large hill and there was an intersection. The light happened to be red. Then, Dad's brakes went out in the VW, and I mean OUT! Dad happened to be in the far left lane. There happened to be no divider. So, dad just swerved into oncoming traffic, with the car screaming down the hill (in the way only a 1965 VW made of pure lead with all the inertia that gravity and a full car can give) and then cutting back across the 3 lanes he should have been in once we actually reached the intersection and then coasting to a stop. You should have seen the people looking at him like he was drunk. I still remember one guy yelling "Go home!" like he was talking to a loon. Even worse, you should have seen the look on Brad's mom's face when she finally caught up to us. Oops!
You guys shared some good ones...what about when Dale and I were talking after a lovely evening working at the "Merv" and one of us said "so and so is such a ho" and Dad said, "what's that short for, hoser?" I have rarely laughed so hard.
Or, there's the time when Justin brought his bride-to-be home and one of the first words out of dad's mouth was "Harry, you're a retard."
Dad is also famous for his racist remarks (where of course his only intent is to raise people's eyebrows...especially Tammy's)
Some of my favorite times with dad are the UCLA games. We were fortunate to live there long enough where even our children experienced it. Dad likes to yell at the t.v. people "shut up, retard."
He also had some other lovely remarks for them which I cannot recall at the moment, but it ended it always with the t.v. being on "mute."
Good times. Dad is always good for a laugh...whether he means to or not.
I totally remember that. I was having microwave taquitos. The lady was the rolly polly supervisor from either sportswear or one of the other departments. I can totally picture her (obviously, from the description above) but I can't remember her name!!!
JUST REMEMBERED!!! Paulina Vega
Wow, I seriously am laughing my head off reading these. Lisa is looking at me like there is something wrong with me...(She may or may not be right...but that is besides the point.) So I am not coming up with anything of my own, but I am remembering some great moments from your guys' comments. The Tuffy one is one that I remember and having it applied to other situations, maybe cats. Speaking of cats, just remember the look on his face everytime he wears his Cat Fud T-Shirt. That one always seems to make him smile. Even as young as I was, the VW always give me a good laugh.
I laughed pretty hard at the Harry comment. Poor Hairy. I laughed at that comment for months after--I would think of it and crack up. I still smile.
I also like Larry's driving habits, pointing out the window, calling people "plow jockey". You should hear Justin bust out those, it is almost as funny as the original.
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