In about 3 tenths of a second, I realized that face was headed directly for my head. No, I'm completely dead serious. This mad crazy bird was dive bombing me. Total Kamikaze. I practically hit the deck and took crash position. I completely panicked. I mean, in which of my college general eds was I prepared to defend myself from the attacks of a rabid bird. I had no idea what to do. Each time I got up and tried to carry on my way, the attack would resume.
Well, the long story short is after what seemed like an eternity (and in reality was probably 30 seconds or so) I had had enough of trying to outrun the crazy beast and the bird had made it clear that it was not concerned about my best efforts to whack him with my spastic arm waving. This thing was relentless in its pursuit to obliterate me (Yes, I'm aware that the bird was probably like 1 1/4 lbs in total body weight but that is beside point. Did I mention that I'm pretty sure it had rabies?)
I did the only thing I could think of. I threw my Ipod at it. And then my cell phone. Yep, that's right. Both of them, hurled at the maniacal freak. I was certain that that would put an end to the madness. I WAS WRONG!! The bird was just crazy before this move. Now the bird was crazy and mad as all get out. Well, my fight or flight reflex had used up its first option so flight was my only option. I tore out of the park and ran straight home and into my room where I woke Adam up and scared the bejabbers out of him before I could explain that the reason I was hysterical was because we needed to go to the park to reclaim my phone that I was too chicken (no pun intended) to retrieve in the middle of my bird throwdown. Fortunately, he was kind enough to not openly mock me and instead braved the bird (who incidentally did NOT dive bomb him) and reclaimed my phone.
Seriously? Who does this kind of ridiculosity happen to? I wish it had been videotaped. It would be hilarious to see again.
5 comments:
WOW That is the most creative, unusual story I have ever heard. If you wrote that up and submitted it to Readers Digest you could easily get $50.00 for it - truth is stranger than fiction. What do you suppose got into that bird?
Two words for you: TENNIS RACKET
Tams...why don't you move to Fresno. I go running every morning and haven't been attacked yet. It's the best solution. I think we can all agree on that...And next time you go running, why don't you bring a big stick with you just in case you need to do some batting practice with the crazy birds...
I thought we had all agreed that everyone is moving to Dallas. There are no crazy birds on my street.
Okay, I have to share what Dee told me. Look at the picture of the bird. Now look to the right at the picture of Malia. Anyone else see the eerie resemblance? 'Nuff said.
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