You know you want to be me...

The day begins at 7:00 AM with Carter acting like he's had a few too many Red Bull's already. After I get them breakfast (something different for everyone...)and out the door to catch the bus (then back in the door to get shoes and back out the door and back in the door to get backpacks), I run home to do the treadmill. I quickly (and I mean like 2 minutes or less) take a shower and make the house presentable for the 7 PRESCHOOLERS that arrived shortly after. Three hours of teaching preschool to four crazy boys and three girls, I throw some dinner in the crockpot, make some rice, and run out the door to pick the boys up early from school. Then, we run to the doctor for the first grade physical for Carter (two months late) only to find out he FAILED the hearing and vision tests. I could go on about that, but I'll just carry on. Then, since Carter's teacher only offers parent-teacher conferences at times when Rick is at work, I head off to the parent-teacher conference WITH the children. I find out Carter is doing okay but in need of some serious one-on-one attention in various subjects and will probably have to go to summer school. Meanwhile, Jake is eavesdropping on the entire conference even though he's supposed to be watching malia who, at this point, has managed to unload all the teacher's markers and color all over herself in purple dry erase marker. Lovely. Then, we run home only to find out the missionaries are already here waiting to be fed. GREAT. So, I throw dinner together, feed everybody, and Rick takes off (with the missionaries) leaving me, four children, homework, and bedtime routines. It is 7:00 by this point. Why do I chomp anti-depressants like they are candy? No idea. What is wrong with people. Why can't they understand that IT'S ALL ABOUT ME? Nobody gets it. So Courtney, definitely, you are mother of the year....Please share some of your secrets.

FHE Mom of the Year

This is me and my husband at last week's pumpkin carving FHE. Yes, that guy behind me is flashing his butt...sometimes my kids make me so proud!

Some of our group crowded in one of Belmont's tiny livingrooms. So you probably thought the guy flashing his bum was stupid but I hate to say it gets worse...much worse. The first completed pumpkin of the night had male anatomy carved into it... I'm telling you people, Belmont is where you find the quality guys. You'll be happy to know though that none of my dates have been from my ward let alone my complex.

Me and some of my kids showing off our masterpieces at this week's sugar cookie frosting FHE.

You know those days when nothing seems to go right? Such as when you don't sleep the night before and then you spend twelve hours on campus and then you come home and accidently park in the spot next to yours and come back hours later to find it towed....days like those... Typically in such a circumstance I decide that it would be better for me to stay in bed for a week then get up and face another hellacious day like the one I just had. Thankfully though, I usually wake up the next morning naively convinced that it couldn't possibly get any worse and sometimes it doesn't, sometimes I have days like today. Today I woke up at the crack of dawn, cranked out 5 2 page papers that are due tomorrow, baked sugar cookies that we decorated tonight at FHE, cleaned my house so I wouldn't be embarrassed when everyone came over, studied for my Human Development test and blew that baby out of the freaking water! Then I got to come home and have another successful FHE. Point of the story is...I'm a freaking awesome FHE mom. It turns out that actually wasn't the point of the story, but I just thought I'd throw that in there. The real point is that it was really cool for me to see how making my calling a priority helped everything else run a little smoother.

"Why painting anything at 4 am is a bad idea" - by Clark W. Griswold

Since we moved into our house about 3 weeks ago, I had decided that I was done with having blue painter's tape still up in every room of our house. I informed Adam that I was done with that and so he worked all week after work to touch up and finish up all of the paint. But it was Thursday night and I had just had enough. I just could not take one more day of not "living" in the house so I pranced myself up to the top of the ladder in our living room and dining room to paint the crown moulding and then have the glorious boon of ripping down the festering painter's tape once and for all. And with that, the stage was set.

At first I was just frustrated as all get out. It was me against the ceiling and I was going to win. I calculated that I could paint a full six inches on either side of where I stood on the top of the ladder before I had to get down, take the paint can and rollers down, move the tarp, move the ladder and relocate to exactly 12 inches from where I had been before. The progress was slow but I was on a mission and I was not to be deterred. As it went on, I sort of got this self satisfied grin on my face thinking "boy, will Adam think I'm a rock star when he sees what I've done." (Nevermind that he was in the other room at the time doing touch ups and painting trim because he wouldn't go to sleep while I was up working...no folks, let's not get distracted...this story is all about me, thank you very much) I'm cruising along and before I knew it, I was one side of the dining room wall away from finishing the first coat of that crown moulding. Then, at around 3:45 a stroke of genius hit me. I would go to the garage and get the other drop cloths and line each of the walls so that when I moved the ladder, rollers and paint, I wouldn't also have to move the tarps as I went around to do the second coat. Since we had just put in new carpet so I had to be super careful to not drip.

So, to the garage I went. I got the drop cloths, lined each of the walls and just had that last wall to line before I could get up to the top of the ladder, finish my task and do the final endzone dance at being done with the painting. The momentum was building. It was to be my triumph. So that last tarp had gotten caught a little bit under the corner of the ladder. I went over and gave it a tug and then I heard this sort of rattling sound. I turned just in time to watch the GALLON of paint careening from the top of the ladder and thudding on the floor. It of course landed on the corner so the paint literally spewed forth in the ONE CORNER THAT DID NOT HAVE A DROP CLOTH!!!! You guys, it was SO Christmas Vacation. It was in slow motion and as it fell, I just could not fathom that it was really happening. On my beautifully freshly painted walls, there was a WHITE GLOSSY SPLATTER that went half way up the wall, on the shutters, on the window sill and on the baseboards. Oh, and it doesn't stop there! No sir. There was paint literally pooling on my BRAND NEW CARPET! (Picture Margo from Christmas Vacation with the spilled wine crying "My carpet!" That was me.) No exaggeration: I let out the most primal, blood curdling, horror movie-esque scream. It even startled me. Poor Adam was clear on the other side of the house and came SPRINTING in to find out what had happened.

Lucky for me, he didn't kill me for having scared the bejabbers out of him and then, in the calmest, most unaffected voice, he said "it's OK. It'll be fine. We'll clean it up." Yeah, here's my brilliant method. I straight like sprayed water on it and was mopping it up with a dish towel. What I thought this was doing to help the situation, I'll never know but it was worth trying, right? I can not describe the extent of the meltdown I had at the sight of my ruined carpet. It was a cross between hysteria and a full fledged nervous breakdown. I was inconsolable and not even making complete sentences. IT WAS 4 am PEOPLE!

Good thing Adam is incredibly calm in tragic situations and is evidently capable of keeping his witts about him. He decides he'll flood the carpet and then flush the water over to the tile which bordered the carpet. I watched as he did it and over and over he flushed the paint from the carpet and the water came out on the other side a very very milky white shade. So there I am, whimpering and crying in the corner and mumbling something about being sorry that I wrecked our dining room. And then, even though it was me who had insisted that we stay up until this project was finished THAT NIGHT and after Adam had been up till like 2 am the day before, we all know how this ended. Adam finished the painting and Tams, who incidentally was still hiccuping from crying so hard, went to bed. When I got up in the morning, the painter's tape was down and the carpet had almost dried from the incident which we've now named "The Spill."

AND THEN, our good friend called Adam that afternoon to see what he was up to and he mentioned what had happened the night before. Our friend then says "hey, you know what? I have a carpet shampooer and I'm not too busy right now. Want me to come over?" So literally, on a Friday night, this guy just drops what he's doing and cruises on over to shampoo the Bad News Bears' carpet. I walk in the door that night to find the house in PERFECT condition and Doug was just wrapping up finishing cleaning the carpet. You can't even tell anything happened. Adam had repainted the wall so there was no remaining evidence that I had made such a fiasco of the night (morning) before. So what if I hugged the carpet cleaner maching thingy...you would have too! It's all part of the experience, Lazer Beams. I wanted something to be proud of, right? And that, folks, is why nothing is EVER worth painting at 4 a.m. Consider yourselves warned.

Denver weather

Yesterday, it was 78 degrees. Today...

I hope that doesn't make anyone think of cancelling plane ticktes--it's supposed to be back up to mid seventies by Thursday, I promise!

ODE TO TAMARA

Last night I was thinking about writing a poem for Tammy's birthday to post on the blog. I could only think of two really cheesy lines (I will spare you). I thought I would try again this morning, but I have come to the realization that my brain is just not working like it used to . . . will it ever come back?

But enough about me - let's talk about Tammy. I really can't say enough about the girl, seeing as how she pretty much hooked me up with Mr. Amazing. I know her mostly from our days at law school, so I will report on THAT, and you fellow Tammy-lovers can comment on the other happier times of life. Everybody from law school likes Tammy; she is bright, energetic, friendly, talented and apparently always had treats somewhere in her desk. She always looked really really pretty too. And THEN, there's the way she made everyone laugh. I might still have a bruise from biting my lip hard enough to not laugh at her IM's to me during estate planning class. Oh ya, and she is also good with people, their feelings, remembering important things, etc. (This list is in no particular order - remember my brain problems.)

So, HAPPY BIRTHDAY Tamara (or Tammy, since I'm a now part of the family...).
Hope you had a great day!

Lisa

PS Can you post a picture of the llama with the mullet?

Poop Catastrophe Update

Welp, I've tried everyone's suggestions (thank you to everyone who has offered advice) and I'm convinced now that there is no possible way to "twin-proof" anything. I've come to the realization that I'm just going to have to deal with poop and whatever else comes our way. Ahhh, isn't life beautiful? I didn't realize how good I had it with Brandon - he was like a dream child compared to my two little terrors! Maybe I should've chosen two little devil costumes instead of the sweet innocent spring chickens for this years Halloween! Oh well... it's all part of the experience. Builds character is what I like to believe. Don't get me wrong, I absolutely adore having twins, but ohhhh man is it HARD work!!! Let's hope I don't end up in a mental institution. I fear that day may be closer than I think!

True love...

Overheard as the kids were setting the table last night.
Carter: Bella, you sit here right by mom.
Bella: How bout if I sit here by Dad.
Carter: No, you're sitting here by mom.
Bella: I want to sit by Dad because he's my true love.