Friday, August 17, 2007

Laugh or scratch head?

Ever the comedians, our 2 special Dallas attorneys came up with a true gem today.

I get this e-mail response from my breathakingly beautiful wife after asking her and Dale when they thought they might leave their respective workplaces tonight:

The aforementioned parties hereby collectively and individually express their intent to vacate their offices this evening at or before half past six o'clock this evening, central standard time. Said parties agree to put forth their best efforts to realize such vacation of their offices.
The parties do not make any warranties, express or implied, as to their ability to fulfill this expectation. There is no guaranty, warranty, surety, or baby T for any reason that is to be inferred from this statement. Should the parties be unable to vacate at the appointed hour, such parties will notify, via email, phone, or fax, all other parties concerned. Parties assume no liability for inability to vacate premises in the event of partner unreasonability, client unreasonability, senior associate unreasonability whether real or perceived. Parties similarly assume no liability for acts outside of their control including, but not limited to, computer melt down, printer breaking, copier breaking, secretary confusion, natural disasters, word processor inability or refusal to comprehend instruction or fulfill requirements, or any other acts of God, sometime referred to as force majeure.


Um, Steph, Michelle, and Matt, how about starting a "Spouses Against Bringing Contract Language into the Marriage Relationship" support network? "Force majeure?" Are you kidding me? Are lawyers even normal? ;)

We just have way too much fun out here in Dallas. Bring on the weekend...

Adam

7 comments:

Stephanie said...

Oh my goodness!!! I would say... no, they're not normal! lol It's like an entirely different language from some other world beyond our universe. I'm getting better at not letting Dale "trick" me with his words... sometimes I'll catch him trying to "lawyer up" and can sometimes outsmart him... rare, but HAS happened - Dale as my witness. I really have no words to say other than (I'm borrowing this from Kate)... BOOTY FUNK! Seems to work whenever there's no other word that does. Tammy and Dale are out of control! :)

Katie L. said...

definitely not, and I think lawyer language should be banned from the blog, too.

j-liz said...

Adam, I just hope that the time the above mentioned parties (Corn-holes) spent creating that statement counted towards billable hours. Otherwise, Corn-holes have made us all dumber for actually reading that post. And may *** have mercy on their soles.

Michelle said...

Adam...don't get sucked into that lawyer talk. Not even they know what they're talking about.

Matt and/or Lisa said...

I ain't afraid....I'll stand up for lawyer talk. It's only fair to use lawyer talk when Matt uses LisonbeeSpeak. How am I supposed to respond to him when he calls me Trebek? (I don't even know how to spell it.)

L

Katie L. said...

Lisa,
I hate to say it but I'm so thrilled to hear that Matty hasn't lost it yet!

Adam said...

Baby T's, secretary confusion, word processor inability to comprehend instructions...all funny stuff. The lawyers were supremely funny for once.

And something that may interest Mark only:

http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/columns/story?columnist=forde_pat&id=2982599&sportCat=ncf&lpos=spotlight&lid=tab1pos1

Mark, if UCLA is 11-0 when they play USC, I'm flying to wherever you are to watch it...