Thursday, January 10, 2008
My little feisty Brittany
Lately I've been having problems with Brittany acting out and not sure where it's coming from. I'm hoping someone else has dealt with similar things and can shed some light on how to handle it (or help me feel ok about it). Her tantrums are HORRIBLE and lately she's been getting an "attitude" and talking back, but the problem is it doesn't just happen at home anymore, now it's happening outside the home and she's starting to fight and talk back to other kids and even her Gymnastics Instructor. Lately she gets into these moods where she refuses to even make eye contact with me. I don't understand what happened to my little happy Brittany. Anyone else deal with this kind of behavior and if so, has it gotten any better??? I'm frustrated and at a loss of what to think or do about it. When I see her doing that, I feel like such a bad mom and guilty like I'm not doing enough or something like that. Anyway, hope all is well on your side! Other than this, things with her and everybody else are going really well so I can't complain... just worried and wanted to share and hopefully get advice.
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6 comments:
I am not a mother so I give you permission to completely disregard any of the following information I will provide.
We did have a section in my child development class on the "terrible twos" or threes as my professor would classify it. We watched clip after clip of kids with appalling behavior and afterwards my professor asked us all, "Aren't these just the most extreme cases of bratty children you could imagine?" Most of us were in agreement that yes, these children were exceptionally terrible two year olds. Turns out that was a trick question, my teacher responded "No, actually these are your average 2-4 year olds..." The textbook explanation for Brittany's behavior is that she's in a state of limbo. She is old enough to want to do things on her own, be independent, but young enough that the communication barriers and physical limitations are holding her back from the complete autonomy she is seeking. The advice my teacher gave (who is an experienced parent by the way) was that you have to pick and choose your battles. Let most things go with peace of mind that this is a phase she will get over and that you haven’t raised a monster child, and be firm on what matters most to you. With those battles you will choose to fight, give them independence by giving them choices. Dinner, for example, doesn’t have to be World War III in your dinning room. Give her an option, “Would you like macaroni or top ramen?” If she chooses neither, she is probably not hungry.
Aurora is only 17 months and I can already see trouble brewing. I think it's just the strong willed Lisonbee personality coming out!
I don't believe for one minute that Aurora is anything but absolutely sweet and adorable. I mean with that face, she just can't go wrong. As far as Brittany's concerned...I like Courtney's explanation. I have had similar experiences with my children and their moods/embarassing behavior. It's all part of that glorious thing called motherhood. Just try and keep a sense of humor and she'll grow out of it eventually...probably before Malia does...lucky you!
Thanks you guys!!! I really do appreciate all of your comments regarding Brittany's behavior. Courtney, you're practically an expert on this stuff! Thanks for all that great information, it really helps to shed light on what's going on. Now that I understand it better, I can approach it better and not get frustrated as easily over it. Thanks so much! Also, the girls had their check-up today and evidently they both have ear infections. I'm shocked that I didn't catch on to it since they've been sick for about a week now, almost two. Usually I know before taking them in to the doctor that they have ear infections, but this time it totally caught me off guard. Who knows, maybe that plays a part in why Brittany's been acting differently the past couple weeks. I don't know, I think it's mostly the strong willed personality coming through - unfortunately she gets it from both sides, the Lisonbee and Cochran side. There's no hope for Brittany! lol I have a feeling she's going to give me lots of grey hairs. Thanks you guys! I really do feel much better about it all.
Michelle, yes Aurora is sweet and adorable but she has a little temper and a mind of her own!
C-A-M-I-L-L-E, spells another kid who has had attitude, temper and other problems. I swear at one point nothing came out of her mouth that wasn't screamed or whined at a loud volume. I suggest spending a little extra one on one time with Britt, lots of positive reinforcement, and try to find things that she likes and excels at to distract her. Camille has morphed into a different child since starting kindergarten.
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