Thursday, December 20, 2007

Sorry to monopolize the blog with my novel, I just need to vent.

Ok so you all know how fond I am of the beast...I mean my roommate Lauren. Well, her little annoyances sort of piled up throughout the semester until they became too much to handle. Among those little annoyances were:
  • leaving my bathroom looking like a beauty salon that hasn't been swept for a week
  • using our hallway as her personal laundry room
  • using my toiletries without asking after being asked about a zillion and one times not to
  • going in my room and taking my phone charger
  • taking my things (which I find in her room) and then lying when I confront her about it
  • letting her scary guy friends sleep in our livingroom over night
  • turning the heater up to 90 and then when it becomes unbarably hot turning on the air conditioning to compensate
  • letting her freshman friends use our washer and dryer

As annoying as every single one of these things was, I was able to put up with all of it. What I could not put up with was her shanking me on the utilities. Every month I would divide up the bill and tell my roommates how much each person owed and for the next three weeks before the bill was due I would remind them just about daily. You would think with this kind of persistance I would have been paid back at least once, right? Definately not...not one single time. This month after weeks of nagging Lauren we got into a blow out. I asked her if she had the money and for the eleventy billionth time that month she lied and said she'd have it later that day. I said that I needed in the next hour before I left because I needed to send the bill before the mail went out. She had the nerve to ask "why are you freaking out about this?"

And the conversation went something like this:

Me: "Why am I freaking out?? I'm freaking out because I don't have the money to pay for my own utilities, let alone yours!"

Lauren: "Well thats not really my problem is it?"

Me: "How is it NOT your problem that you don't pay your utilities?"

Lauren: "I didn't make you sign up for them. If you have such a problem with it take it out of your name."

Me: "Brilliant idea, why didn't I think of that. Oh wait I did, and then I remembered you REFUSED to put it under yours so I didn't really have another option."

Lauren: "Well thats not my problem, is it?"

Me: "Its going to be your problem when I take the cancel the utilities."

Lauren: "No, I'll just move out."

I had already asked my complex management a while back what they could do to help and they told me they were not responsible for utilities. This time Lauren had really pushed my buttons with her "the world revolves around me" attitude though so I walked into the management office and told them they either needed to help me enforce it or get me out of my contract. Apparently she owed them money so they were willing to work with me, but they wanted me to give it a couple days. So then today I walk out and asked her if she has the money yet and once again she said no but that she'd have it by tonight.

And the conversation went something like this:

Me: "Ok, well I've talked to Belmont about the trouble I am having with getting you to pay utilities and apparently you owe them money as well so their ready and willing to take action agaist you. We have a meeting at 1:30, if you get the money to me before them I can tell them it has been taken care of and if you don't their interested in knowing how else you've violated your contract and I can think of a few ways."

Lauren: "Great, nice to know."

A few minutes later...

Lauren: "I can't believe you're really freaking about $25."

Courtney: "1) It's $25 THIS month, that doesn't cover the last three months. 2) Their is a lot more than you not paying utilities that I have issues with."

Lauren: "Oh ya, like what?"

Courtney: "Well for one, I suspect that you have taken some of my things without replacing them."

Lauren: "How dare you accuse me of stealing? What would I steal of yours?"

Courtney: "I noticed the other day cleaning supplies had gone missing, and so I looked everywhere in the apartment and they were no where to be found. I thought you might have used them in your room so I peaked in there and noticed my nail polish. I went to check my nail kit to see if that polish was missing and I found that the entire kit was missing."

Lauren: (completely missing the point of the story) "I used the cleaning supplies on my car but I was going to bring them back...wait...YOU WENT IN MY ROOM?!?"

Courtney: "Don't even give me crap for going in my room because you come in mine all the time and use my charger. Besides, obviously I had the right to go in there because you had taken the stuff I was looking for."

Lauren: "You had no right to do that...blah blah..."

Courtney: "Ok well report me to belmont. I'm sure me walking in your room and touching nothing is going to seem horrendous compared to your list of offenses."

Lauren: "Courtney, you better lose that tone with me..."

Courtney: "Or what?"

Lauren: "Or I'll kick your bleeeep!"

Courtney: "Oh no you won't."

Lauren: "Yes I will, and I will accept whatever consequences come because I am that pissed."

Courtney: "Go for it."(I was hyped up with adrenaline so give me a break)

Lauren: "I'm calling Brooklyn and if you didn't ask her if she took the stuff then I'm going to beat your bleeep."

Courtney: (grabs purse and runs as fast as humanly possible to Belmont offices)

Point of the story, aparently Belmont had been the reciever of one of Lauren's angry rages before when her car was towed so once again they knew I wasn't making things up. They immediately switched me to another WAY NICER apartment within the complex and they claim they are going to evict her. I went to BYU off-campus housing and reported her for everything. I just worry that she's going to talk her way out of this like she does everything else. The thing is, she graduated early from high school so she thinks she's sooooooooo smart and she got a scholarship for basketball so she thinks shes sooooooooo valuable and she's conviced that the world owes her something. What she doesn't realize is that its actually her that owes the world for the oxygen its providing her with to produce that useless rambling that comes out of her mouth. I think the problem is that all along I let her get away with crap just for the sake of peace so it fed into her self-absorbed mentality and she mistook me as stupid and timid. This last week though I've stopped putting up with her and I think it was an unpleasant surprise to find out I'm actually kind of smart and pretty far from timid. I should have just told her from the start "Guess what Queen Latifa, I also graduated early from high school...not that impressive. And get this...I have a scholarship too! Laddy freaking da...you're not that special!"

I think I've posted my quota for the next year in this blog alone, which is good because now that I'm not living with Lauren I'll have nothing interesting to write about.

5 comments:

Tamara said...

Boo yeah! Ba'am baby! Two snaps up in a Z formation. Ta- dow, how she like you now. Is that all she's got? I think you told her. In the immortal words of Dad, I'm so fired up by your awesomeness, it'd make a rabbit slap a bear. ROCK ON WITH YOUR BAD SELF!

Michelle said...

You go girl. Maybe you should leave her a nice Christmas present (like in her apartment or her car or something). I was thinking something in the style of "Grumpy Old Men" like a dead fish hidden in some location so when she finally discovers it, it's too late. The beast deserves it now doesn't she?

Courtney said...

Oh no worries Michelle, I turned off the utilities and din't tell her so I think the smell of the refrigerator when she gets back with be present enough :)

j-liz said...

Coach, I can't believe you walked away! Somebody I know would have caved the teeth in of the opposing party in that sort of situation. And from experience (I mean things that I've heard) the one who lands the first blow wins approximately 80% of the time. No comment on the other 20%.

Katie L. said...

Courtney, apparently you are smart, or at least smart enough not to throw a punch at somebody twice your size. I wonder who would be silly enough to do that...can you think of anyone? Hmm. Wierd.