"I do believe I have been changed for the better."

Most of you have probably heard by now about the passing of my roommate Chelsi Dawn Petersen on Friday, June 6th. I don't have a personal blog and I'm not about to do a write up on facebook, so I hope you can bare with me as I do a very modest tribute to her here on the family blog.

I moved in with Chelsi in December of 2007, after escaping Belmont 315 where (if you remember) I lived with Lauren. Immediately she had an unfair advantage in my eyes because she was being sized up against my most recent roommate who had hygiene practices that would make me gag, cost me hundreds of dollars in unpaid utility bills, and threatened to beat me up. Even if my former roommate had been Mary Poppins though, she still would have been perfection in comparison. As far as roommates go she was ideal for me: she was a clean freak, refused to borrow anything of mine, insisted that I use everything of hers, and didn't have obnoxious friends. Her biggest vices included running the dish washer when it wasn't full, doing laundry frequently, and listening to sappy love songs...as you can tell, I put up with a lot. Had she been a messy, mooching, stingy roommate with obnoxious friends, I probably still would would have loved her because all those things are trivial in comparison to everything else she had to offer.

Chelsi loved life more than anyone I have ever interacted with. She was passionate about the gospel, her family, her missionary James, and track. Chelsi's track abilities were admittedly incredible-she was hard working, unwilling to give up on herself, and thus, unbeatable. But as inspiring as she was on the track, she was more inspiring off. She was humble, generous, and a joy to be around. She had bright blue eyes and a smile that could light up a room. This probably seems like hindsight speaking, but it is not. Any one of my friends will tell you that I would brag about Chelsi's athleticism and sweet disposition frequently, so much so that they were concerned I had an obsession with her.

My favorite memory of her is from this one night when we had two attempted break-ins. Cherilyn and I let it go the first time but after the second time we went to Chelsi's room to make sure it wasn't her trying to get in. She came staggering out with bed head and half-open eyes wondering what was the matter. We explained the situation to her and she freaked...and I mean freaked. She, the strongest one of us all, the one who could probably kick the trash out of whoever it was trying to break in, was the one most scared. I loved what a pansy she was. Anyway, she called her mom and then busted out a carton of her nasty fat-free ice cream as we talked for the next hour about what to do. Finally, upon her request, we all migrated to Cherilyn's room where we'd sleep that night because Cherilyn had a lock on her door. Cherilyn and I joked that we actually made up the story about the break-in just so she'd hang out with us because she only associated with athletes. The truth is she was just too busy for us most of the time.

I have wanted to write about her since her passing, but I have hesitated for fear that nothing I say can do her justice. I have come to accept, however, that I can not avoid talking about her simply because of my incompetence. Rather, I just have to ask that you realize she is 1,000 times more amazing than the image I can depict for you. Hopefully you have gathered from what I have written though, that she was barely short of perfection. At first, this perfection made her passing extremely hard to accept. Why her? Why out of all the students in BYU, the person who had the very most to offer this world? Eventually though, this same perfection that brought about those questions also brought the answers to those questions. As her bishop stated at the funeral, she was just too pure for this world. The Lord has much work for her to do in heaven.

And instead of being bitter that I lost such a precious part in my life, I became so grateful for how fortunate I was to have had the privilege of her being a part of my life. From the first week we lived together her mom would tell me how I was the answer to her prayers. That she hated her last roommates and had been praying since they moved out for better ones. And I always replied that I had been doing the same, so we were an answer to each others' prayers. Turns out Cherilyn had been praying for the same thing and moved in a month later. How blessed are we that our prayers were answered and that we were placed in such a circumstance. At her funeral they played a song from the musical "Wicked." The first verse goes, "I've heard it said that people come into our lives for a reason bringing something we must learn and we are led to those who help us most to grow if we let them and we help them in return. Well, I don't know if I believe that's true but I know I'm who I am today because I knew you..." and then a few verses down adds, "I do believe I have been changed for the better..." I can't think of a more perfect song to describe my sentiments in this whole situation.

This has undoubtedly been the hardest thing I have experienced thus far in my life but because of this it has also been the biggest opportunity for growth. I have been trying to learn and grow from it as much as possible and I have already seen so much progress in this past week and a half. I don't know that I could say the same though, if I had not had the love and support of you all and my friends here in Provo. It has been so humbling to see the extent to which my loved ones have been willing to serve me. Thanks for everything, all of you. And don't feel obligated to respond, I more posted this for me and my record than anything.